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Sometimes it seems like mothers speak a different language. At any given moment, it's hard to tell what they're saying or what they want. Well, thanks to modern science and vivid imaginations, you can now instantly understand your Mom. All you need is this Understand Your Mother Instantly Breath Spray! Imagine: Your mother is muttering something that sounds like, "Dear, please wear that blue dress I bought you. Naturally, this makes no sense to you. But after you take a toke of the Understand Your Mother Spray, you'll realize what Mom just said: "Dear, put on that dress that makes you seem dumpy and unattractive so I don't have to worry about you getting picked up by some playboy who will probably get you pregnant and leave you stranded in a bus station in Wichita Falls, Texas." How does the spray work? Well, we really don't know. Perhaps the peppermint flavor activates special receptors inside your brain. Or maybe it works because you want it to work. It really doesn't matter... anything that may help you understand your mother is worth a try.
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